5 Reasons I’m Proud To Be A “Bad Mom”…

Last weekend I went to see the new comedy, Bad Moms with a couple of friends. It was absolutely hilarious, and totally rude (in a great way!).

At the same time, the film also has surprisingly insightful, powerful messages around the importance of community, the value of having great “mum” friends, and the challenges we face as society pressures us to raise our kids “properly”.

Which begs the question – what on earth does “properly” mean???

In fact, I wholeheartedly believe that the strain to get it right causes enough confusion, doubt, and uncertainty that we, as mums, begin to lack self-confidence, and even more worrisome, self-trust.

But here’s the thing. Like anything else in life, there is no one right way. It is well and truly inconceivable that parenting unique, individual little people simply cannot be a one-size-fits-all strategy. How could this parenting journey be as simple as good or bad??

So I’ve made a decision that I am certain supports my kids, my partner, and most definitely me. I have stopped focusing on the good and bad, and instead, I’m focusing on my purpose and intentions. My “why”.

So, in celebration of total and utter imperfection with the absolute best intentions, here are my 5 reasons why I’m proud to be a “Bad Mom” – and how I actually believe it is what’s best for my kids.


Love To Learn

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  1. I have regular “time outs” from my family.

I’m really lucky to have an extremely close friend who lives about an hour from me. Because of the distance, when I go to see her, I often spend the better part of the day there and even stay the night. And I do this at least once, if not more a month.

Sometimes when I go, there are tears from my kids. And the questions!!! The “why can’t we come??” and “why do you have to go AGAIN??” Yet I choose to go anyways – without guilt.

Here’s why:

Hubby gets “mum-free” time with the kids. He can feed them as he wishes, let them screen-time until they’ve lost sufficient brain cells, and run the house daddy-style, without interference.

I get “family-free” time. I get to step away from being a mum. I can enjoy leisure time without seeing the mess by the door, the laundry baskets overflowing, the rotten banana sitting in the bowl. I get to switch off, entirely.

So when I come home, I’m refreshed, I’m motivated, and I’ve connected with my sisterhood.

Win for everyone, don’t you agree??


  1. I mock the rubbish YouTube videos my kids are obessessed with.

They say that an easy way to stay connected with our kids is to develop interest in what our kids are into. I get that. And, listen, I have literally spent years singing Dora the Explorer songs, playing Uno, and battling with light sabers.

But, I do have to draw the line sometimes. And not only draw the line, but vocally mock, rudely imitate, and completely insult.

My kids don’t like it. But I keep doing it.

Here’s why:

I want to teach my kids that it’s okay to like things that other people don’t. I want them to make their own choices, regardless of popular opinions.

I also want them to know that we won’t always agree. And they need to learn how to handle that, how to discuss that, and most importantly, how to accept differences of thought.


  1. I rarely (if ever) volunteer my time or energy at my kids’ school – and I’m a teacher!

I am not on the Reading Helper Roster. I regularly “forget” to donate to bake sales, or other bring-a-plate events. I don’t attend every sports carnival, swimming carnival, Book Week or Easter parade. I don’t volunteer to cover books in the library. I don’t organise whole class teacher gifts nor am I on a single committee.

Here’s why:

Although I’m not teaching full time at the moment, I still don’t want to “go to work” when I’m not at work. And I’m totally okay with that.

Because one of my biggest sources of pride is that my kids are pretty independent. They have no problem separating from my husband or me. They have had quite a lot of change over their short lives, and they have shown an incredible ability to be adaptable.

I know my kids are good, with or without me. Which is really nice.


  1. I have literally given my youngest child the same sandwich for the last two and half years.

My son is a terrible, picky eater and has been since birth. He was the baby who would eat three spoonfuls with gusto, and when I gave him the fourth, he would spit it out and look at me as if I had just put dog poo in his mouth.

Now, I am working on it, and he is, very very slowly improving. Yet I have stuck with what works for his school lunches.

Here’s why:

Of course, like every “good” parent, I want my kids to have a variety of healthy, brain boosting food (hmmm…). Yet, I also know how important it is for kids, especially those headstrong ones, to feel some level of control. I am also a big advocate for picking my battles.

Ultimately, I believe it is more important that he enjoys school, gets enough energy to get him through the day, and that lunch time is a time for social interaction, not picking through an unwanted sandwich.

I’m sure it won’t ruin his life in the long run…will it??


  1. I do not tell my kids how perfect they are.

They are so not perfect. They are unique, interesting, funny, crazy, and they each have their own strengths for sure! But they are nowhere near perfection, and I have no inclination to have them believe they are.

Sound a bit harsh?

Here’s why:

I truly believe that if we place inappropriate weight on perfection, there is a decent chance that our kids will spend their lives trying to reach that near impossible standard.

I absolutely do what I can to foster incredible self-belief. I celebrate achievements, I cheerlead progress, and I openly acknowledge positive character traits.

But I keep it real. And I teach them that being less than perfect is awesome. That they deserve happiness and love and friendships and experiences regardless.

And, even more than that, I believe that they are learning to accept and love the imperfections of others.


So here we have it. And, the list could totally go on and on!

So, I’d love to know, what are your proudest “bad mum” moments?


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